Meet Me at the Fair

On Saturday we made our way to the Mountain State Fair. We started with the two of the basic fair food groups - corn dogs and a blooming onion. It was exquisite. It was then off to see the giant Smokey the Bear. When I say giant, I mean GIANT. This thing is huge and animatronic. There's a guy who sits in a little trailer and controls his movements and voice. A friendly ranger stands next to Smokey and talks to the kids. The conversation is relayed to the guy in the trailer who then makes Smokey talk. So, there was Monkey talking to Giant Smokey like it was an every day, run-of-the-mill experience for her. Monkey loves Smokey the Bear. I wish I had taken a picture of Smokey. I may have to go back to the fair to snap one.

Then we wandered over to the livestock barns, stopping on the way for a pony ride and a meander through the petting zoo. We checked out the 4-H chickens and poultry displays. We gazed at rather cute little Shetland Sheep ( I want them!). We marveled at the gigantic brown eyes and ridiculously long lashes of the llamas. We petted the Sheriff's Mounted Patrol horses.

Then at Monkey's insistence we headed to the Midway and dropped a load of money on ride tickets. We used most of the tickets up on the giant ferris wheel. From the top we could view the whole fair. Monkey proclaimed herself taller than Smokey. We were on top of the world.

We sampled more fair food groups - snow cones and cotton candy. Then we made our way to the garden, food, craft and produce tents. I am so going to enter things and sweep the fair next year. I ignored my friend, Kelley's, urgings to enter the contests. She won two blue ribbons for her perennials. We checked out the jams and pickles, gawked at the giant pumpkins and perused the various quilts, shaws and scarves.

I think my favorite was this, a picture of chickens made out of a multitude of beans and seeds. Fabulous.

Big Daddy was enthralled by the allure of the beekeeping booth and thinks we should get a hive or two. When I suggested this last year, the idea was poo-pooed. After he saw that little queen shaking her thing in the display case, he's under their spell. And as B.D. is so busy working out of state these days, it looks like I'll have to go to Beekeepers School 2006 sponsored by the Buncombe County Beekeepers Chapter and County Extension Services. They apparently have a raffle and 250 lucky new beekeepers get two free hives. I'm sure all those little honey makers will be a good addition to my garden.

We then caught a little of the classic tractor pull, complete with waving American and Confederate flags.

We passed by the chewing tobacco booths, visited the NASA booth for tattoos and stickers (Stickers are Monkey's favorite. She is three after all.), admired the National Guard Apache helicopter and the accompanying NASCAR racing car. I'm not sure why the National Guard sponsors a NASCAR car, but there must be some reason... Then we chatted with the friendly North Carolina Highway Patrolman and his police dog.

We were handed bibles by the Gideons and Jesus Loves You balloons by the Baptists. We picked up a Green Ash seedling and a Smokey the Bear ruler from the Forestry Service (oh, and more tattoos and stickers!). It was hard to drag Monkey away from the PBS Kids tent and all their stickers and characters and tattoos. What is it with the tattoos? The fair is full of free stuff!

We saw the 4-H kids sporting their finest clothes to show their animals. I loved seeing the old folks all dressed up for the fair. I didn't quite realize that so many women still went for the permed hair and straight, big bangs held up by the magic of hairspray look. It was an eye-opener. We spotted more than a few mullets. And there were some scary choices in eye shadow color. And why is it always necessary for some women to wear short shorts when, Lord knows, it's the last thing they should be doing?

We finished off the day with some lemonade and Nachos, completing our consumption of the fair basic food pyramid. Monkey and I both passed out as soon as we got home with sun-flushed cheeks and way too much transfats and sugar in our bloodstreams. I love the fair.

Sacred Summits

Today we will be going to cheer on a few friends who are racing in this. I suggested to Big Daddy that we start training for next year and he just chuckled. It would mean trading in my mountain bike for a road bike. Maybe I'll just trade in his bike for a new bike. But then again, I'm not a fan of hills except for the flying downhill, fast part...

Later I'll update on the time we had yesterday at the Mountain State Fair. Now that was some fun!

Up Before Dawn

I let the dogs out just a few minutes ago. The air is crisp and chilly. The sky is magnificently clear. The sun is just starting to lighten the edge of the mountains to the east. I could still make out Orion overhead along with Taurus, the Pleiades and Cassiopeia. Mars and Venus were still shining bright. I love those little quiet moments when I'm the only one stirring.

The rooster has started to crow. He's an early riser. I'm sipping my first cup of coffee and the day looks good. I'm going to ignore the fact that I have bills to pay today. The money is there, it's just the act of writing the check that irks me. The mail doesn't leave the post office until 2:45, so there's plenty of time. I have another half an hour before the Monkey has to get up and get ready for school. Somedays I think I could quite easily become a morning person.

That "Ranch" Doesn't Even Have Cattle...

I've yet to process all of my thoughts and feelings on Hurricane Katrina and the after-effects. Big Daddy, however, has come up with a few thoughts:

"There is a big ranch in Crawford, Texas that isn't being used. The guy who owns it should open it up for a big tent city to house everyone. I'd say it's the least he could do."

"Somebody should sell Mardi Gras beads for donations. We should all be wearing Mardi Gras beads! Those guys that make them should be donating them to help raise money for New Orleans, considering how much they've made over the years."

Big Daddy is heading out tomorrow for Virginia, but he'll be back Friday night. I'll miss him.

I already miss New Orleans.

God bless everyone affected by that storm.

The Incredible Edible Egg

I have eggs. They are tiny, as is normal for first eggs. I had one on Monday and one yesterday. Let's hope for another today. One of my little Dominique hens is laying them. Let's here it for Heloise!

Has it been a week since my last post? I'm sorry for the lack of news from the mountain. My mother-in-law was visiting. Unfortunately my office is also the guest room. It was pretty much impossible to get to my computer. My space has finally been returned. The smell of perfume is still lingering, but will fade. Ah, solitude (at least during the mornings when Monkey is at school)... There is a lot of work I have to catch up on.

I prepped another row in the garden for planting yesterday. I'll be planting kale this afternoon. I also need to clean out another row for some more spinach and lettuce. I'm waiting until the weekend to rip out the tomatoes. Big Daddy wants to make some green tomato pickles (or relish, I can't really remember) and he'll be home Friday night.

Gigi is demanding my attention right now. I think I'll take her outside and work on some training exercises. She was spayed last Friday. I've been trying to keep her activity level down, but it's a little hard. We'll go do some sitting, downing and staying for a little bit and then I can pull weeds.

Hello Katrina... Now Go Away

The edge of what is now Tropical Storm Katrina brushed by us today. Damn her. It was odd weather. It would downpour, then stop. The wind would blow, then stop. I'd go outside, then run inside. I didn't get much done besides meet my friend, Tanya, for coffee this morning and run to Target while Monkey was at school. At Target they were losing ceiling tiles in the foyer every time the front doors opened. The sky was a lovely shade of green-grey at that moment. I had a living in the Midwest flashback. We had tornado watches and flood warnings, but nothing seemed to happen. We lost power for a couple of hours. We lose power every time the wind kicks up around here. We lose power a lot.

I managed to make and can some quarts of marinara sauce today. We are running out of room to store all the fruits of our garden labors. The potatoes are being stored under our bed at the moment. It's the coolest, darkest place in the house. I took in a couple pounds of cherry and yellow pear tomatoes to the Farmer's Market and managed to get some organic couscous and a pound of buffalo meat. I wonder if there is some twisted recipe where I could combine them? The buffalo is raised right outside of Asheville. I like this bartering thing. Next time maybe I'll come home with Magic Beans!

I think I am catching whatever Monkey had. I've got the tell-tale scratchy throat and post nasal drip. Lovely, I know.

Watching the Animals

I am addicted to this website. Antelopes and warthogs, oh my! I keep waiting for the elephants. They will come.

So Much for Silence

Monkey is home today. After her first day of school she came down with a cold. Hooray. She's got a slight fever and a stuffy nose and a nasty little cough. So I've doped her up on kiddie cold medicine and she's lounging on the couch watching "Dragon Tales".

I would like to watch some news and see updates on the whole nasty Hurricane Katrina thing. I've negotiated for news time after "Dragon Tales" and before "Sesame Street". This means "Caillou" (a whiney little kid, if there ever was one...) and "Barney" are safely out of the picture for today.

I've fed the chickens, played ball with Gigi for about 20 minutes and folded the last of the laundry. Hopefully the sun will pop out and the dew will go away and I can work in the garden for a while. The radishes, spinach, mesclun, arugula, lettuce and mache that I planted are all coming up. I'm clearing out the squash, turning over the soil and will be planting some more spinach and kale. Then it's time to rip out the cucumbers and plant more radishes and some beets.

Oh no, it's starting to rain. I may have to put off the gardening today. If the Katrina heads our way, I may have to put it off for a few more days. I'm hopeful that it will only give us some rain. We suffered quite a bit from Ivan last year (and many areas are still recovering). And I'm still waiting on the road man to come repair our driveway.

Thoughts and prayers out to those poor people stuck in New Orleans. I just heard that the roof is coming off the Super Dome. How terrible. I hope they will be o.k.

The Barter System - It's Not Just for the Dark Ages Anymore

This little bungalow houses the Black Mountain Farmers' Market. On Saturdays they host a tailgate market. I never knew of it's existence until yesterday. I stopped in on my way to pick up Monkey from her new student orientation. I picked up four lovely, freshly picked Ginger Gold apples. I chatted with the proprietess, Elaine, and found out that they stock mostly local produce and wares. They order non-local produce and other items through an organic wholesaler. They even carry jeans and overalls made an hour away in Tennessee.


It seemed Elaine was running out of some produce as the season winds down. She had a lot of people requesting cucumbers. I happen to have cucumbers. She said she'd take ten. Today I brought her ten cucumbers of nice size, weighing close to five pounds. In exchange I took home about five pounds of apples for the Monkey. Maybe we'll make some apple crisp this weekend.
On Monday I'm going to go exchange some of my surplus of cherry and yellow pear tomatoes for homemade pasta. Bartering is good.

Got Milk?
I found out an answer to my continuing confusion about why there seemed to be no local organic dairies. It is quite difficult and expensive to get certification. In North Carolina all milk must be pasteurized. I'm a skim milk kind of girl, so I don't mind pasteurization. And I guess I was spoiled coming from a dairy and beef raising region of the country. I was used to my milk coming from local dairies and co-ops. My parents would buy a half a cow from someone they knew (or a relative of someone they knew) and stock the freezer.

Now, I'm going to share with you a big secret. There are no such laws in South Carolina and you can buy un-pasteurized whole milk from small dairies. So, every two weeks, the market takes orders for milk and someone travels to South Carolina to buy milk. It's $8 a gallon (about double the price than if you went to the dairy yourself, but you have to cover those gas costs). I don't think I'll be paying for that luxury. However, a local farm just got certification to make cow cheese and they will be carrying it soon. I love cheese...

Savouring the Silence

Today is Monkey's first full day of preschool. Except for the jingling of dog collars, it is absolutely still in the house. What am I to do? Why I think I'll enjoy my coffee, pick some green beans, read the paper and relax until I need to pick her up at noon.

A Whole Lot of Shaking Going On

Last night a little after 11 p.m. I was sitting here in front of the computer enjoying the fact that the house was all quiet and getting ready to go to bed. Then a large truck drove through the front yard and there was a deep boom. The house shook just a little. Truthfully there was no truck, but it felt like it. Or maybe a train. Or a car with one of those ridiculously loud stereo systems playing some very fast music. It was an earthquake!

An earthquake. A 3.8 earthquake. In the mountains. How likely is that? I had no idea what it was last night. Rather, I found out this morning as they reported it on the news. You can read the story. I didn't even think earthquake. I'm from Missouri. Tornadoes? Yes. Earthquakes? No.

It seems that every time Big Daddy goes out of town on business something is going to happen - chickens slaughtered... Earthquakes... I wonder what's next?

Alone Again

Big Daddy is in Virginia again this week for work. It looks like this will be a weekly occurence for the next month or so. He called this evening and said he was safe and sound in his hotel. I should say motel. He's still looking for internet access.

Tonight I had to go to my agility training class. I sprayed Monkey down with mosquito repellent, loaded her and all her favorite toys in the car. I tossed in Biscuit and we drove across town to class. Halfway there Monkey was fast asleep. She slept through the whole class and the ride home. She slept as I changed her into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. She's still asleep. Bliss.

Dear Lord...

What is with all the spam comments??? Who came up with that brilliant marketing tool? Someone should find out their address and t.p. their house. Seriously.

And Gigi Makes Two

Nobody told me that having a border collie was like having another three year old in the house. Actually that's a lie. I think I read that somewhere and chose to ignore it. Foolish me. But then she looks at me with those big eyes and tilts her head to one side and I forgive her for being a wild crazed beast.

Two things Gigi can do that the Monkey can't: She can jump over my head and she can be spayed (I don't think that's an option for the Monkey...).

The newest member of the household is responding well to positive training and is sitting and doing a down. She seems to be easier to potty train than the Monkey, so there is hope.

Another Weekend Gone

Let's see. This weekend was overly busy. We adopted Gigi, who is fitting in nicely. It's very funny to watch her experience new things. She obviously wasn't allowed inside before. Hardwood floors terrified her the first two days. The television is very interesting, as is the computer keyboard. House training is going well. And she sleeps in a crate at night. She has no manners on a leash, but fortunately isn't a big tugger. She's learned sit and down. She's also figured out that string cheese (her new favorite treat) comes from the fridge. Considering we had house guests all weekend, she is doing very well.

Jim & Beth, our long time friends, came up with their little boy for a visit this weekend. We did a lot of hanging out downtown and sitting on the front porch. Their little guy got to pick blueberries and cherry tomatoes with Monkey. He was also quite fascinated by the chickens.

On Saturday morning we took them along for our favorite routine - breakfast at the French bakery followed by a trip to the farmer's market. We bought more goat cheese, steaks for dinner, bacon for Sunday's breakfast, oyster mushrooms, eggs, and fresh honey. Summer is here and the living is easy...

Monkey starts school this Wednesday. We are in the final preparation stage. She's pretty excited. I'm a little nervous.

Oh, and we canned 12 pints of green beans, 6 pints of peach jam, and 9 pints of salsa.

Call Me An Idiot

But how could anyone resist? I'm a sucker for big brown eyes and the fleet of foot. What can I say?

Say hello to the newest member of our family. The Monkey has christened her "Gigi". And you must say it with a soft "g" and an inflection at the end. Monkey must have learned French in the womb. I'm not sure if it's a truly appropriate name for a border collie, but we put it on her name tag, so that's it. She'll just be "Gee" for all official training purposes.

Gigi is about a year old. We decided to adopt her with maybe a little to little introspection. But, she needed a home and we could give her one. And any dog is pretty gosh darned lucky to end up as one of our dogs. It will be a brand new world for her from this day forward. Hey, she sure is sweet, she loves Monkey and she will be my next agility champion. And if not an agility superstar, she'll make one damn fine chicken herder.

I'm in love.

Ho Hum

It looks like it will be raining all day. In some ways this is good. I have a lot of house cleaning to do before our friends arrive tomorrow for a visit. Lots of house cleaning. If it weren't raining I would find some excuse to be outside. I don't have to look far. So this morning it's clean, clean, clean (ah, the drudgery).

This afternoon I need to make a run to the library with the Monkey (Sometimes, I wish she were a real monkey, because then that would be just too cool - "I'm taking my monkey to the library"). Just picture a small blonde child with big blue eyes wearing a little red fez and fringed red vest maniacally clapping a pair of small brass cymbals together...

I've also started creating my own blog roll over there in the side bar. It will be growing. I'm not too sure about the etiquette of the thing. Should I ask first? Should I just do it? I hope to figure it out soon.

For now - On to sweeping, mopping, toilet cleaning and laundry. Hooray!!!

What I Want To Do:

Bake a couple dozen flourless peanut butter/oatmeal/peanut and chocolate chip cookies and eat every last one of them.

What I will do:

Pop some popcorn and eat it lightly salted.

I Love Free Stuff

These seeds came with an order I had made for my fall garden. I can't wait to try these tomatoes next spring. I'll be planting Rouge d'Hiver lettuce and arugula today. Unfortunately the Black Spanish and China Rose radishes were out of stock. I guess I'll be planting more French Breakfast instead.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I realize that I haven't posted many pictures lately. Here's the view over coffee this morning at around 7:25. I hope you enjoy.

Weekend Round Up

This weekend we:

• Went to the North Asheville Farmers Market and bought goat cheese rolled in cracked black pepper from the Spinning Spider Creamery, eggs, and pork chops from Spring House Meats,
• Visited Animal Haven and their new thrift store,
• Picked blueberries and made blueberry muffins,
• Went to lunch with friends,
• Mowed the lawn,
• Picked loads of tomatoes and made salsa,
• Babied the chickens,
• Started the last step of refinishing Monkey's big girl bed.
• And listened to the Monkey talk and babble non-stop.

Animal Haven is an animal rescue in Asheville. If you check out the adoption page you will see two dogs that I just fell in love with. I am especially in love with Blue, an Irish Wolfhound/Terrier (yes, just imagine that breeding...). He and his brother, Black, were rescued and then "enrolled" in a dog training program at the Black Mountain Women's Correctional Facility. They passed with flying colors and are now up for adoption fully-trained. Big Daddy reminded me to be realistic and realize that I didn't need a dog quite so large and that I was looking for a pure bred this time to train for agility, obedience, and tracking. He sure was sweet though and he really isn't THAT big...

A Little Ray of Sunshine

I was gone all day to a dog agility training seminar. When I came home there was the missing hen, Blanche, sitting outstide the coop under a pumpkin vine. She spent all night by herself somewhere in the woods. Her's must have been a very harrowing close call as she is missing quite a few feathers, but physically she seems fine. She seemed quite grateful to be caught and placed back in the safety of the coop.

"Well, the meds must be working because I can't imagine what you'd be like right now if they weren't," said Big Daddy. "You didn't hear me crying like a baby until I couldn't breath, " I replied.

Big Daddy is away on business in Virginia. Monkey and I are at home. We had a rather pleasant day up until dinner time. We were planning to go to my weekly dog training session in about an hour when I looked outside and noticed that everything was very quiet. No crowing. No gentle cackles. There were just lifeless forms littering the front yard. Minutes before I had seen the neighbor's German Shepherd. I ran down into the yard I found my little hen, Penny, mauled, but still alive. Then I found one of the Polish hens, then Jimmy, the Polish rooster. Next it was Stella, the Wyandotte and then one of my lovely Black Australorps. I broke down.

I called and called, and finally the survivors started to come out of the woods. First Mooney, the Hamburg rooster flew out of a tree. Then the two Australorps, Colette and Gigi, came out of the woods with Ruby, the Rhode Island Red and Rufus, the Wyandotte rooster. Next I could hear cackling in the woods and went in search of the others. Pruett and Beatrice, lovely Dominiques that they are, came to my voice and clucked nervously as I led them back to the coop. While leading them out through the underbrush I found my other Polish hen dead. I kept hearing a scared and nervous cackle from the far side of the creek and finally located Rosalind. It took an awful lot of calling to get her back. The two other Dominique hens, Heloise and Miranda, crept out of cover with Curly the rooster. Finally Jack, my favorite, came out limping slightly with almost all of his fabulous tail feathers missing. I'm still missing Blanche, the Wyandotte, and fear she is dead.

Penny's entire right thigh was basically skinned and she couldn't walk. I had to do the only thing I could and put her out of her misery. Considering how I had broken down earlier, I surprised how calm I became. It crushes my heart to think about it now, but at that moment I was filled with calm and reserve. I did it as quickly as I could and I hope she didn't suffer too much.

My nerves are completely shot right now. Although Big Daddy is probably right. Those little blue pills must be working because I didn't throw or break a thing. I managed to have a rather even-keeled discussion on the phone with the neighbor, who has offered to pay for the chickens. It won't bring them back, but I think he is genuinely upset as well. Who wants to think that their pet is a killer?

I am weak and couldn't seem to dig a hole big enough for six chickens. So tonight as it was getting dark I built a funeral pyre and laid the fallen comrades to rest on the flames. Perhaps I'm trying to find some humor to lessen my grief because I have to tell you that the smell coming fire was like a barbecue from heaven. I think I'll have myself a nice cold beer in their memory and head off for a warm bath. If you can, raise a toast to some sweet poultry whose lives ended way too soon. And I promise to keep a rather watchful eye on the survivors so that they may stay safe and healthy.

To Do

1. Clean chicken house. check.
2. Weed and prepare 3 rows for fall veggies. check.
3. Allow the Monkey to wear her pink princess dress, tights and black patent leather shoes (on the wrong feet) to avoid time-consuming and illogical argument with three year old. check.
4. Make tomato sauce and can. will have to wait until tonight.

I also managed to order seeds for the fall garden.

Piedmont Corn Salad
Rembrandt Spinach
Provencal Mesclun Mix
Winterbor Kale
Rouge d'Hiver Lettuce
Arugula
Round Black Spanish Radish
China Rose Radish

I hope they arrive soon. I am covered in mud and indescribable chicken ick, so I think I shall go freshen up a bit.

It's a beautiful day for a rain shower!

That's what the Monkey said to me as we were leaving the grocery store. And she is right as always...

Rainy Days and Mondays

It rained all day yesterday. Monkey and I never got to the Village Art and Craft Fair. Big Daddy did bring home a present though. He bought me a coffee mug to add to my growing collection. That means another mass-produced mug I get to toss!

I spent the day cleaning and doing laundry and catching up on magazine reading. My mother-in-law gave us a subscription to Mother Earth News for Christmas. The August/September issue is full of articles that I actually enjoyed reading. An article on the real food revival made me think of Jamie's month of local foods. Another article cited a magazine-based study of cholesterol in free-range eggs. It states that in the study free-range eggs had half the cholesterol of factory raised hens' eggs. And I thought they just tasted so much better! I also learned that there are native bees that only pollinate flowers in the squash family. A description for Golden Corn Salad (Valerianella eriocarpa) has me itching to order some seeds for the fall and winter garden. Mother Earth News is sometimes a little crunchy for my sensibilities, but this issue had a lot to offer.

It is still raining today - a somewhat nasty fine drizzle that shows now sign of abating. I would like to be outside planting another row of beans and starting some lettuce, but it looks like I'll have lots of time to clean the office instead.

Weekends are Relaxing, Right???

This is the weekend of the Village Art and Craft Fair. Our church provides all the food. Parishioners spend weeks before baking bread, cooking meats, making cookies and cakes to sell. All profits are then donated to local charities. It's a good thing, but a busy thing. Big Daddy is spending the weekend grilling hotdogs for sale. In the past they were boiled in the kitchen. Big Daddy would have none of that. Apparently his new system is working because they ran out of hot dogs yesterday and sold more by 2 o'clock than they had sold the entire festival last year.

While BD was doing the cooking thing I was running around town with the Monkey. First we had a soccer game. Then we went to Monkey's new school to volunteer some time. In the true spirit of Montessori parents are asked to donate about 40 hours of volunteer time to the school each school year. I scrubbed the porch and mowed the lawn and knocked three hours out. Monkey played on the playground with her new friends and got unbelievably filthy. She was very happy. We came home and I worked in the garden for a couple more hours with the help of the uppity chickens. A couple are learning that if they follow me, I toss them bugs and tasty weeds (their favorite is wood sorrel).

Today BD has already left to go back down to the fair. I think Monkey and I may go down later. It's drizzling right now so I'm planning a swift cleaning of the house. If it clears up we'll head out to check out the art and BD's cooking. The only problem with the art fairs in this area is that there is an extreme amount of pottery. I would love to buy handmade plates and bowls to use everyday, but my budget right now won't allow it. So I tend to get all forlorn and collect potter's cards and wish I had more moolah. I am thinking though that I could start a very interesting mix and match collection by buying one or two pieces at a time and tossing out the old mass-produced dinnerware as I get pretty handmade things. Hmm, that might be a plan - I could support other artists and end up with an interesting collection.

Storing Up for the Lean Season

Well, I made blueberry jam this morning. Our pantry is filling up with lots of home grown goodness - beans, jams, tomato sauce, carrots, peas and beets. I'm becoming quite the country girl.

Well, I'm not so country that I hang confederate flags from the trees around my house and put my trash in with neighbor's on trash pick up day, like someone in the valley does. I think you can figure out who from previous posts and the fact that that same person's PUPPIES are showing up daily in my yard. Now one would think that after you've had the sherriff to your house and animal control fining you over $1000, you'd keep your dogs at home. I think I'm expecting a little too much from that gene pool. Would it be morally reprehensible to buy a pellet gun and take aim at said puppies? It would only be a pellet gun.... Those puppies bark at me in my own yard. My yard. Not theirs. Bad dogs. Bad. Hillbilly puppies for God's sake.

O.K., I'm done with the rant. Now I can get on with my day. We had a rather large and abrupt thunderstorm earlier. The temperature is now quite nice. My chickens are all wet. They refused to go inside their house. They were free ranging at the time and they just get a little carried away with the "we're free!" attitude. The chickens are getting a little uppity these days. I would say they think they are running the place, but so does the cat and at least one of the dogs. My animals have no respect for my authority. And I think it's rubbing off on my daughter. While I've been writing I think she's swiped at least one, if not two popsicles. It's sad really. Time for a freezer intervention.

Today's Big Plan

Between a meeting this morning, a veterinarian appointment this afternoon and soccer practice (that is to say, wild rumpus with crying boys) tonight I need to pick green beans and make blueberry jam. Our bushes have finally produced enough berries to make a batch of jam! The problem is keeping the Monkey away from the berries until I can make the jam. The kid is a berry fanatic. Her new favorite book is Blueberries for Sal. We read it again and again and again... You get the picture.

You Say To-may-to...

I've been busy this morning. I picked 25 pounds of yummy. I think I will make some sauce and can it today. I'll leave out the Cherokee Purple tomatoes as I think they will make the sauce brown. Most of the other tomatoes are in the yellow orange range. Anyone with a rudimentary understanding of color theory (and I have way too much knowledge of it) would understand that purple and yellow make ick. And ick is not a good color for tomato sauce. And for those of you wondering; ick is a color - it's yellow and purple.

More Fun with Abundant Produce

Big Daddy found a recipe for Sweet Potato and Zucchini Bread on Epicurious.com and we decided to try it utilizing the overstock of carrots in our fridge. Below is the result and it is quite tasty. As with all of our new creations, we tried it out on the staff in Big Daddy's office. The bread was gone within the first few minutes. Success!

Carrot and Zucchini Bread

2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups grated zucchini
1 1/2 cups grated carrots
1 cup chopped walnuts, toasted

Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter and flour 9x5x3-inch loaf pan. Sift first 5 ingredients into a medium bowl. Beat sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla to blend in large bowl. Mix in zucchini and carrot. Add dry ingredients and walnuts; stir well.

Transfer batter to prepared pan. Bake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Cool bread in pan on rack 15 minutes. Cut around bread to loosen. Turn out onto rack and cool completely.


This weekend we managed to can 13 quarts of pickles, 1 quart of dilly beans and 5 quarts of green beans. We had a big pot luck party to attend on Saturday night and made summer squash souffle and a giant tomato and cucumber salad. As lots of gardeners were in attendance, there was an abundance of squash and zucchini recipes and at least four dishes involving fresh tomatoes and/or cucumbers. So much for originality on our part, but the feast sure was spectacular.

The party was fabulous. We were invited by my relatively new friend, Kelley to her annual "Thanksgiving in July" party. There were several deep fried turkeys and traditional fixins'. It was a unique concept that worked beautifully. Kelley and I met through a mutual friend when Kelley was looking for a few chickens to start her own backyard flock. She bought four of my little hens. In talking we found out we shared a lot of the same interests and more than one friend. In fact, Kelley and her husband are friends with practically half of the people we've met in the area over the last year. It's odd how that can happen.

What is more amazing is that almost all of these mutual friends are also musicians. They aren't professional musicians (I've known many of those.), but people with other careers - dentist, farmer, engineer, professor... who all have a love of blue grass and get together to play whenever they can. And man, can they play! I'm not someone who generally listens to blue grass, but there is nothing better to listen to on a perfect evening in the North Carolina mountains, under the stars, with a glass of Highland Gaelic Ale in your hand. Thank you Kelley.

Here's to new friends and an over abundance of produce!

Random Chicken Photo

This is my favorite rooster. I named him Atticus (I had a sort of southern literary theme going with the names...), but Monkey christened him Jack Jack and it stuck. So, this is Jack Jack. He will be staying with the hens as he is a well-mannered gentleman. He likes to have his chin scratched and loves English peas, Japanese beetles and long walks on the beach. Wait a minute, do chickens have chins???

The rest of the lot are headed to life on a free-range chicken farm to live out their days courting and protecting 150 hens. I guess you could call it a chicken Vahalla.

Two roosters are getting their own swinging bachelor pad. Their individual good looks have caught my artist's eye and I can't part with them. They will probably be allowed conjugal visits in the spring, if they behave.

Relief

The heat broke today and the weather was much more bearable. I managed to cut back some things on the hillside so that my pumpkins, watermelon and gourds would have more room. They are taking over like some alien creatures - sprawling over every inch of ground and climbing up and over brambles and weeds. So far I've been successful in keeping them out of the garden proper, but it's a close battle with those vines. I've never had much success with them before. This year I've got pumpkins galore, in all shapes and sizes, and don't get me started on the gourds. My watermelons are finally taking off, but there are no melons yet. Did I mention the spaghetti squash? We're going to be eating it for months once it ripens. It must be the mounds of compost I planted them in, and all the rain.

The rain returned with the cool air. We had quite the thunderstorm last night with several lightning strikes near the house. Before the storm yesterday evening I managed to pick about 4 cups of blueberries. It's not enough to make jam, but I should be able to get a batch of muffins and some pancakes out of it. Tomorrow morning - blueberry pancakes! Monkey will be so pleased.

Tuesday Morning

I'm looking out my window at a wall of fog. High temperatures are forecasted again, but right now it is relatively cool. I fed the chickens and they are out doing what chickens do. Later on, no doubt, they will hide in the shade and wait out the heat like they did yesterday. The hummingbirds have been busy at their feeder and the nasturtiums on the front porch.

We've had lots of wild critters paying us visits recently. Yesterday I came home from the grocery store to find a HUGE black snake on the back porch. It was a least 3 feet long, if not longer. And while Monkey thought the tiny one we caught last week was rather cute, she wasn't too taken with one that was longer than she is tall. There I was with Monkey crying among the dropped grocery bags removing a snake who's only desire seemed to be to stay on the porch. In the end the broom proved to be a useful snake remover and the snake slithered under the porch. I'm generally not timid around snakes, but did do involuntary jumps a few times yesterday when I'd catch a glimpse of something long and dark out of the corner of my eye. It was always a stick.

Last night there was a baby possum stuck on our screened-in porch. We left the door open and it was gone this morning. Note to Self: Do not let Big Daddy leave the compost bowl on the back porch. Maybe I could start my own nature show - Things That Visit My Back Porch. It would include a vulture, a bear, the snake, the possum, stray dogs, cute little songbirds, and the UPS man. The UPS man is there a lot due to my penchant for ordering out of catalogs and two long distance grandmothers who like to send stuff to the Monkey.

The Monkey is running a fever. It started yesterday. Other than the fever, she seems to have nothing wrong with her. She says her head hurts a little, but she's still quite active. She's lying on the couch eating a freezer pop at 8 a.m. Does that make me a bad mother? Certainly not. I figure she's hot, it's cold and maybe it will get a little fluid in her. While she's relaxing, I think I'll go out and possum proof the porch.

Oh the horror...

let the wild rumpus begin

I promised a report of Monkey's first ever soccer game. I was going to sit down yesterday and tell all the details, but certain events transpired that made it quite difficult to do so. Let me share the tale of destruction before I tell you of Monkey's athletic exploits.

We came home from Monkey's game and had a nice little lunch of leftover gumbo. (Please pay attention to the food details, they will be important.) I then went outside to work in the yard for awhile. Monkey had a popsicle. Big Daddy and I started harvesting vegetables and pulling weeds. It was getting fairly warm outside by then and little Monkey wanted to go back inside. Now dedicated readers will realize at this point that it might be a little dangerous to leave the Monkey up to her own devices. Not to worry; I check up on her frequently in these instances. The last time I came up to the house to observe her activities she was playing with some legos and watching a cooking show.

So, Big Daddy and I finish up in the garden and start back up to the house. He discovers his daughter on the back porch with a mostly consumed stick of unsalted butter in her hand. The child had eaten almost an entire stick of butter. Who does that??? I also found several other popsicle wrappers laying around. The child had been busy - like those allied prisoners on Hogan's Heroes she had done her damage in tiny little increments avoiding my Colonel Klink-like surveillance.

Like I said, it was getting quite warm, so naturally I sent Monkey outside to play for awhile. Who wouldn't? About a half an hour later she was back inside and that's when it happened. I heard the noise coming from my office, but I refused to believe it. Big Daddy and I went to investigate. The Monkey had vomited over my desk and keyboard. It was not pretty. But I guess we knew something had to happen with all that butter and sugar and gumbo. Why there? She's not devulging that information. Let's just say that the keyboard was not going to work again in a normal fashion and it smelled really bad. Really bad.

I had to go buy a new keyboard this morning. It's wireless and has lots of fancy little buttons to make my life easier. If I must replace, I will upgrade. I just wish my desk still didn't have a faint odor to it.

Soccer Score:
I couldn't tell you really. Kids were running, falling and stepping on one another. Goals were scored, often in the wrong goal. Several tantrums were thrown. There were many high fives and a few crying jags. Monkey likes her new coach, Coach Kenny. His son is on her team and he brought snacks and juice boxes. Monkey's new best friend was on the other team and has a Disney princess soccer ball (that's enough cause for a three year old girl to make a new best friend). They stood in the middle of the chaos and held hands. They sat in the middle of the field and had a chat. They are three year old girls and don't have time for the petty displays of three year old boy bravado. Monkey had a few good blocks mainly because the ball rolled into her. I'm proud of her. Even if she was picking clover and holding hands, she stayed on the field. Ah, they grow up so fast...

Also, Monkey didn't want any butter on her pancakes this morning.

TGIF, or Goodbye Week from Hell and Don't You Ever Return.

The Southern Appalachian Weather Mantra (repeat daily until September): Today's temperatures will be high and there will be thunderstorms.

I have spent most of this week on a topsy-turvy, stomach twisting rollercoaster ride of emotions. Where to begin? Last week I found a lump in my breast. Not a pleasant discovery. I spent most of last week and the weekend worried and weepy and over-thinking. On Monday I discovered that it wasn't cancerous or out of the ordinary. Relief. Well, sort of. As I talked to my doctor about other issues she informed me that I was way past any post partum depression phase and should probably speak to a counselor about several anxiety-ridden issues I've been experiencing lately. So, she scheduled my appointment. I felt elated that I did not have cancer and that maybe something could be done to help the way I've been feeling. Hurray. Then my cat died.

I got Sophie when she was 6 weeks old while I was teaching a summer painting course at Wesleyan College in Macon, Georgia. She came back to live with me in Athens and spent the next 15 years of her life as my constant companion. Well, she did live with my parents for two and half years while I was in the Peace Corps, but apparently she spent a good deal of that time in my old bedroom waiting for me to return. She lived in several crappy, artist-type apartments during school seasons, tents in the summer, hung out in horse barns, lounged on balconies, ruled over us all in our old house in the city, and survived a rottweiler attack that left her with a broken hip and slight limp. That little tabby lived her nine lives to the fullest. She spent her final year here on a mountain with a great view and a sunny porch. Good bye Sophie, I'll miss you. Who else would dare wake me up at 5 a.m. to fill her food bowl? Not even the Monkey is that brave. Sweet dreams little kitty.

O.K., up, down, up, down. I had a meeting with a counselor in my doctor's practice. An hour and half and a box of kleenex later I left her office with a list of therapists and a subscription for Zoloft. I've always tried to work through my problems and get on with life - buckle down and plow through. Well, lately it's been a little thick to plow through and I've got the Monkey and Big Daddy to think about. And this depression and anxiety is really interfering with my painting. It's gone on long enough I believe. So, we'll try better living through chemistry for a while and see how that goes. I'll keep you posted.

Monkey had her first soccer practice last night. There really isn't much to tell because when you put three and four year olds out on a mini soccer field wearing baggy shorts and shin guards all that happens is chaos - complete mind-numbing chaos. Anything you can come up with in your wild imaginations probably happened. If Little Monkey will actually start playing with others, I may have a future goalie on my hands. She does like to stand in front of the goal and grab the ball and yell at the boys to go away. The other little girl on the team stood in the middle of chaos, very still, afraid to make eye contact in case it caused even more aggression in the mob. Monkey wanted to be on the Purple Team. It is her favorite color and I must admit that she looks very good in purple. The girl knows. She is, unfortunately, on the Red Team. I guess I'll have to convince her that she looks fabulous in red. She does, so I won't have to lie. The first game is tomorrow morning. I'll post the results, even though we don't keep score. How could we? The mob is always running off the field to chase the ball in a straight line to nowhere. Go Red Team, Go!

You Asked For It

hair-b-gone

Never say that I am not accommodating. Although I waffled a little about posting a picture of myself, the Monkey took such a good one yesterday that I decided to post it.

Now I'm going to go drain and scrub out my fish pond. All the fish are gone. I think the bull frogs got them. Poor things. I might as well clean it out and make it all sparkling and shiny for the next batch of frog food, er... I mean fishies!

I forgot to mention

I forgot to mention that I had all my hair cut off. All of it. Gone. I just couldn't take constant styling and blow drying and straightening anymore. So Thursday I said, "Take it away. Take it all away!" I don't think any strand is longer than my index finger. It can be continously messy. I don't need a hairbrush. My hair is gone and it is good.

Mmm Mmm Good

I just made some muffins courtesy of Jamie's recipe and I must say that they are so delicious. I've had to hide them from Monkey as she has already had two and claims that she needs them all for a tea party with Cinderella and Princess Jasmine this very instant. Thank you Jamie! Now I know what to do with all my squash.

It's raining again. I managed to tie up my tomatoes again before it started. Now if it would only stop raining, so that they don't succumb to some blight or fungus. The pumpkins are taking over their side of the garden and the surrounding hillside. They are followed closely by the gourds. I hope they don't overwhelm the watermelon. I never realized that their flowers are so huge. If it ever stops raining, maybe I'll go take a few photos to post.

Updates and Bad Weather

Somebody up there in weather control is not listening to my requests. It is currently a comfortable 67 degrees with humidity pushing 93% - which definitely takes away the comfort factor.

Bad Neighbor Update: Animal Control will be visiting my neighbor's house today and along with Buncombe County's finest will be serving her a very long list of fines and orders. Her dog has been deemed a "dangerous animal" This means she must have a covered chain link pen to a certain height with a concrete floor for the dog (I believe this was suggested last fall and she didn't comply). The dog may never be off leash. Signs must be posted around the property stating there is a dangerous animal (I'm not sure if it's just "Beware of Dog", or something more descriptive...). If the dog is caught at large again, it will be euthanized. Her fines from the county are close to $1500 dollars - dog attack, animal at large, un-nuetered animals without permits, inadequate housing... Apparently Buncombe County gives the accused the option of waiving some or all of the fines, IF they pay the victim's vet bills. So, she could avoid the fines if she gave me $400. That would be extremely neighborly of her... eh, hum. If for any reason she fails to comply with the orders or pay fines/reimburse me, SHE GOES TO JAIL and the dog goes bye bye. I'm not so clear as to what happens to the dog until she complies. It may be kept at the Humane Society, where she will be charged boarding until she completes a new kennel. It sucks to get caught not taking care of your pet, doesn't it?

On the happy dog news front: Biscuit the Wonder Dog was given a clean bill of health last week. With all the other excitement I forgot to mention it. We get to start agility training this week with a new instructor. We also get to attend a seminar in August. I'm very excited and I imagine she will be very naughty.

Harvesting Again

Today I pulled 25 pounds of Yukon Gold potatoes out of the ground. That's about a third of the plants. We're going to be eating potatoes every way we can prepare them. I'm going to try to store them under the house. We're making a mini root cellar in the crawl space this year. We roasted a few tonight for dinner and they were YUMMY. Big Daddy finished pulling all the beets and carrots. The house smells like pickled beets tonight. We also pulled the remaining onions. I've got to make room for more rows of beans. There's a tub with at least 15 pounds of carrots on the back porch. What to do? What to do? I'm thinking about lots of carrot cake that I can freeze then take to the Cathedral's big food booth at the Biltmore Village Art Fair next month. Hmmm...

I squeezed in a bike ride after our daily thunderstorm this afternoon. It was really more akin to swimming than biking. The air is thick with water here. I feel sorry for all those people in Hurricane Dennis' path, but I'm glad it's heading west instead of east. We don't need anymore rain. All I ask for is one or two days of no rain. Constant sunshine would be nice, but I'll take clouds. Just no more rain, thank you.

If it weren't so tragic, it would be kind of laughable.

poor chelsea

I Am So Bleeping Mad I Could Spit

WARNING: THERE WILL BE BITCHING AND WHINING (but with good reason...)

Yesterday Big Daddy was coming home from his bike ride. Chelsea, the old big black dog was waiting patiently at the top of our drive for him. As B.D. is coming up the hill, out of the woods comes our neighbor's pit bull. She pounces on unsuspecting Chelsea and rips in to her. No warning at all. Now, those of you that have been reading this blog may recall that we've had numerous not-so-pleasant encounters with said dog and her irresponsible, inbred owners. Big Daddy tries to break up the ensuing dog fight. From down the hill at the neighbors' house, he hears someone calling the dog. The dog runs off. Big Daddy helps Chelsea into the house and is generally too flustered to think straight. (I love Big Daddy, but he is not very effective in emergencies involving blood and the need for a quick reaction.) I pointed him in the direction of the phone and cleaned up Chelsea.

Following Buncombe County Animal Control's past advice on dealing with the poorly raised dogs down the hill, we called 911. The deputies arrived and called Animal Control (go figure). Several hours later Animal Control and the deputies left the neighbors' house, apparently without the dog. The owner said her good dog had been inside all evening. Eh hum....

Chelsea had surgery this morning. Her hip was mauled pretty badly and required stitches and a drain. She's been given antibiotics and painkillers. I can go pick her up in a couple of hours. She's going to be sporting one of those gorgeous cone heads. She gets lots of antibiotics and painkillers to take. I wonder if I can take her painkillers?

We've had to fill out incident reports and spend our morning talking to Animal Control and the veterinarian (a good man indeed). I get to worry about the safety of my animals and child, spend my morning at the vet and on the phone and writing out reports for Animal Control. I get to look at my checkbook and try to figure out how I am going to pay my vet bill. My "neighbor" gets to spend her morning sitting on her fat ass, listening to Lynard Skynard (way too loud), hang out with her "good dog", all while admiring the white Firebird Trans Am up on cinder blocks in her front yard. I wish I was making all that up. I take care of my animals. They stay on my property. They get vaccinated. They get annual checkups. They get to lay around all day and eat bon bons while they watch Animal Planet on their own plasma t.v. (o.k., I made that last bit up...) Why does this happen to me??? Why do I have to be so inconvenienced? Why? Why? Why?

Sorry, I had to whine for a least one paragraph. Once the incident reports were faxed to Animal Control (which was done about 2 hours ago), they have promised to go get a court order to remove the dog. I love dogs, so I feel a slight pang of pity for the animal. Not for the owners. No pity for them! I hope they are fined heavily. Fined so heavily that they have to sell the Firebird Trans Am in order to stay out of debtors prison. O.K., once again I'm getting carried away. I don't think they have a debtors prison in North Carolina - but there should be. Just for them. I can wish for them to pay my vet bills all day, but I just don't see that happening.

I think I'm going to go outside and check out the bird house full of fluffy, furry, giant-eyed flying squirrels. That should cheer me up for at least 10 minutes.

Hey! That's No Bluebird! - WARNING CUTE FUZZY ANIMAL PHOTO

flying squirrel - we'll call him Rocky

I noticed this little head peaking out from one of our bird houses today. There are several of the little guys in there. It's very rare to see a flying squirrel during the day. Look at those big buggy nocturnal creature eyes. Everybody say, "Awwww..." I guess I know now why the bluebirds don't want to nest in the lovely houses put up for their pleasure. We've got squatters!

Yesterday's Before and After

Total time elapsed: 15 minutes. Total rainfall: 1+ inch. All I can say is wow.

4th of July Review

We had what appears to have been a successful 4th of July party last night. There were 15 adults and 9 children. Earlier last week I was planning for a much smaller affair, but it seemed there were a lot more people out there without plans than I had expected. No problem - the more the merrier. It was our first official party since moving here and seemed to be reminiscent of many of our old parties in Kansas City, only with more children. Our new house lends itself well to parties. There are two big porches for various conversation points and an acre for kids to run wild in, which kept them in view, but out from under foot. Nice.

It was classic American barbecue party fare. Big Daddy spent 12 hours on Saturday smoking a brisket (on the grill, of course - it's not slang for something he did a lot of back in college...). He also did up some chicken thighs and wings to perfection. There were baked beans, cole slaw, homemade pickles and grilled vegetable antipasto. Friends brought pasta salads, more grilled veggies, homemade bread, fruit salads and desserts - a fresh berry trifle and blueberry pie. We had made a couple of quarts of ice cream on Sunday afternoon to go with the desserts. Yum.

As the sun went down the kids chased fireflies and caught them in a big jar. We let them go later to fly off into the night. Big Daddy and his fellow ex-boy scouts lit a fire in the new fire pit and we all took bets on how long it would be before one of the boys threw something in to burn (not long...). As the sky grew darker, we hauled out the pirates' booty of fireworks. In North Carolina, by law, one can only have little stay on the ground fountains. We bought our illicit bounty in Tennessee and transported it across state lines (don't tell). Out here in the boonies sky rockets were lighting up the sky in all directions. We're outlaws, I tell you. It was a great ending to the night. Kids grew sleepy, parents kicked back, and the non-parents relaxed before their drives home.

It's foggy out there.

Gad Zukes!

gad zukes!

Little Monkey is very lucky. I found my camera ferreted away in a location she could never reach. It was probably put there by an adult (could have been me...) so she couldn't get her grubby little hands on it. Lucky child.

So here's a photo of a baby zucchini. Come to Momma, you tasty little thing. All the curcurbits are going crazy in the 100% humidity and heat. I'm going crazy in the 100% humidity and heat. I even have pumpkins blooming. I've never been successful with pumpkins or watermelon. Last year Big Daddy was in charge of the garden, and the watermelon and pumpkins succumbed to pestilence and disease early on. He's much too busy to spend a lot of time in the garden this year. Since I've taken over and am feeding them like crazy and picking off bugs daily, they may just make it. In B.D.'s defense, we did have several watermelon last year, but the neighbor's dog kept picking them.

Losing My Marbles

I lose things. Constantly. My house is too cluttered. My mind is too wandering to remember where I place things. I live with Monkey, Queen of Thieves, who is in a hoarding phase. She takes things - shiny things, expensive things, things that contain permanent ink - and puts them in strange locations. Right now I cannot find my digital camera. I cannot live without my camera. And all I get from Monkey is a cryptic message, "You left it out in the rain, Mommy..."

I'm on a camera search. Wish me luck. If indeed the Monkey has somehow absconded with my camera and hoarded it outside somewhere, I will need to borrow a camera to take pictures of her. I will then be posting her picture on eBay and selling her to the highest bidder.

Ah, Humidity

The current humidity is at 84%. I think when I took this photo it was at 87%. Fabulous cloud and fog effects occur, but my hair is a frizzled mess. Also, standing in one place and not moving will make one sweat.

We've had thunderstorms everyday for the last several days. Between the downpours the sky is a brilliant blue filled with towering white masses of clouds. Today I was driving on the Parkway and was astounded by the beauty of giant shining clouds coming over the dark green mountains.

We had a mile stone today. Little Monkey made it all day in one pair of underpants. A miracle. I'm trying to figure out how the dog can be housebroken in one week and the child takes something like a year. Maybe I should have stuck to dogs...

Garden of Delights

The garden is coming along quite well. I picked one little super sweet cherry tomato today. The rest are starting to set fruit. We harvested carrots and beets. Big Daddy has been busy using the new pressure canner. He's done peas and carrots and is on to beets. The whole house smells like dirt right now from cooking beets. I've got another row free to plant black-eyed peas.

Everything is finally starting to take off. Now if I can just keep the bugs and such under control. The chickens have been feasting on Japanese Beetles. I've dumped the beetle trap twice for their dining pleasure, but I think I'm hardly making a dent in beetle destruction. The beetles are devouring my Japanese Maple. It must be sort of like American tourists coming across a McDonalds in Paris and getting all excited - "Ja voodray lay Big Mac, seel voo play!" Damn tourists, go home!

Jimmy!

Jimmy, used to be Deg

Ignore the over-exposed head of Marlon (another "I'm supposed to be a girl, but I'm a boy") in the corner. I think Jimmy is one of the most bizzarre birds I've ever seen. Dig that doo on my drag queen chicken. It's very Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, don't you think? All he needs is a little pair of pink glitter chicken stilletoes.

I changed his name. Jimmy suits him better than Deg. He'll be going to the swinging bachelor pad with Mooney. Marlon may get to go to, if he's nice. Are you listening, Marlon?

Down on the Farm

taters

I actually grew potatoes. I dug them up and made them for dinner. I was kind of skeptical as I couldn't actually see them growing. But here they are - my first batch of new potatoes. The red ones are klondike rose and the others are yukon gold.

We worked around the house and garden today. I managed to get some flowers planted, weeds pulled and the pond fixed. The waterfall's hose was clogged. All I can say is, "Ick". Pond scum is gross. Since the fish disappeared, the frogs have been thriving. There are now a bunch of little tadpoles. I can't wait until they get big and eat bugs. Big Daddy cleaned up a bunch of areas today. He started building the fire ring. He changed my original idea, but he is the expert. So I'll trust him for now. He built two new beds for me to fill with dirt and herbs, so I'm happy.

I also managed to get rid of 9 of my chickens yesterday and today. They went to new homes and will hopefully have a good life. Today after our friend, Susan, left with five of them, the others seemed a little traumatized. They hid in the coop and wouldn't come out. I had to bribe them with fresh peas. I can just see their little chicken brains whirring, "Oh no! Here she comes. She'll put us in a box and send us away. Quick! Hide! Run around like your head is cut off!!!" It was sad to see them go. I've kept my favorites of each breed. I gave Susan one of the Golden Polish. I had planned on giving her two, but I think one is a rooster. So now I have Deg (thanks to Ken), the rooster and his two girls Angela (thanks to Jamie) and Val(thanks to one of our friends who noticed the similarity - was it Mel?). Now I'll have to get around to naming them all.

Man, those taters were good! Now I think it's time to go sit on the porch and have a beer. Life is good on the farm.

Oh Thank God

Yesterday I was feeling a little nervous. I was close to a couple of weeks late and have gained a few unexplained pounds. So off I went to the drug store and came home with a home pregnancy test. It was negative. I was relieved. And, in a true example of how my life goes, if I had waited a few more hours, my body would have told me so and I could have saved the 15 bucks.

Contrary to friends', familys' and complete strangers' thoughts, I am meant to be the mother of an only child. If I had two how would I be able to afford a pony and summer camp and all those cute little girl clothes? And I'm way too distracted to keep track of two. I'd lose the second one somewhere - in the woods, at the park, leave it on top of the car as I drive away from the grocery store. One is a good number. Zero population growth and all that. I've had to turn down gay friends' offers that we could have theirs... Thank you, but no.

So, while another child would not be the end of the world, I'm glad it's just the Monkey. Right now she's calling my name and I better go make sure she's not baking another cake or climbing the fridge in search of Big Daddy's candy stash. One is such a good number.

The Normal Life

Now that everyone is gone and I'm done with my travels, life can get back to normal for awhile.
This weekend Big Daddy and I worked in the yard. We spent Saturday morning running errands. We loaded up on lumber at Lowe's and stocked the shelves with groceries. Big Daddy finished putting up the roosts in the chicken coop. He built them a cute little ladder so they climb up. So far I've only seen the silver spangled rooster actually roosting, although one brave black hen tried out the ladder.

Sunday Big Daddy built a new dog-proof compost bin complete with a gate for me. My life has changed so much that I get excited by a compost bin.

I worked in the garden both days. I pulled all the lettuce, which was beginning to bolt. In it's place there is a row of French filet beans. I strung twine to support my black-eyed peas as they are beginning to grow. The tomatoes are now staked and are starting to set fruit. I weeded and planted more marigolds and sunflowers. Both afternoons we had big thunderstorms, so I still haven't mowed the yard. Saturday's storm included a bunch of hail which beat the crap out of my squash plants. They'll survive although they are kind of ragged right now.

If it doesn't rain this afternoon, I'll pull the broccoli and put in a couple of rows of corn. Now I need to get to the gym and work off all the food I ate last week with the family.

The Week of the Family Is Over

They've all gone home. All twelve of them. What a wonderful feeling it was to wake up this morning and realize I wouldn't have to drive across town to spend the day with my family. Don't get me wrong. I like my family. I was just a little tired of playing Julie the Cruise Director. I would say that most of my predictions came true. Fortunately there seemed to be no territorial feuds around the hot tub. There were heated discussions about baseball - "The American League is for girls!" There were clashes between the vegetarian and the carnivores -"Vegetarians just put all those vegetarian things in salads!" - mainly because Cousin #2 seems to thrive on conflict and my mother's buttons are so easy to push... (However, if Cousin #2 is going to devour a chicken breast like a starving lion downing a billy goat, then he has no room to criticize those of us who like to gnaw on flesh regularly.) I think there was a political discussion one night at dinner, but I was blissfully sitting at another table.

Things actually went pretty well this last week. Everybody enjoyed the Asheville Tourists baseball game on Tuesday night. Cousin #1 and I got in a nice hike one morning. Monkey got to play with her cousins and spend time with her grandparents. We took a train ride to the Nantahala Gorge. The men folk got in their annual game of golf, which in reality is only a contest between my brother and Cousin #3. The others mainly lose golf balls and come home injured.

My choices of restaurants were limited by the diverse tastes and requirements of the mob. There had to be vegetarian dishes. There had to be simple dishes as not to confuse the less adventuresome palates (difficult for me to do). There had to be beer. One choice initially seemed as if it would fail - there were no Anheuser-Busch products - but, my father came around and enjoyed his food and foreign beer. My father said, "I've never been anywhere in the United States where you couldn't get a Budweiser!" My thought, "You need to get out more often."

And so, it's over until next year. By the time it's time to plan the next family get-together, we will have forgotten how much spending a week with those you love can get on your nerves. Sometime around December or January someone will start asking where we should all go. We'll head off to a new destination. We'll ask the same questions. We'll tell the same stories. We'll have the same arguments. And then we'll give each other big hugs and return to our homes for another year.

Cocktail Hour

5:21 p.m.

I have cleaned the house - some rooms twice. I have fed the chickens, pulled some carrots, spread some grass seed and watered the nasturtiums.

I have spent the day fighting the entity known as Monkey the Destroyer of Worlds AKA Spawn of Big Daddy. She managed to paint the screened porch with her little kiddie paint brush and a forgotten yogurt tub of latex paint while I mopped the kitchen floor. Her evil genius knows no bounds. Please feel free to apply for the nanny position.

Big Daddy is still at his television gig. It's after 5:00. I think it's time to pop open a bottle of Highland Gaelic Ale, kick back and enjoy the view. Maybe if I drink enough of them I won't notice the nuclear bomb Monkey is constructing with her garden tools, a roll of duct tape and a couple of bungee cords in the garage.

Nanny Wanted

Experience with three year-olds a must. Non-Smoker. I would say non-drinker, but with this charge, you will probably need a stiff drink every now and again. Must be trained in anti-terrorist activities. Constant vigilance required.

Must be able to start job immediately. I mean right now. Today.

Besides keeping The Spawn of Big Daddy under constant surveillance, you must be able to clean out the garage because I just can't seem to get around to it.

Oh, and I really can't pay you anything, but we'll feed you and let you live in the garage (once you clean it out).

The Week of The Family Approaches

Tomorrow my family will be descending upon us for an entire week. My family and my mother's brother's (that would be my uncle) family have a week long get together every year. Last year was my uncle's beach place in Delaware. This year they chose Asheville. My brother and I were hoping for a Florida beach, but the cousins outnumber us and they won out. So here's the tally - my parents, my brother, his wife, two nieces, my aunt and uncle, my cousin, middle cousin and youngest cousin and his wife. That's 12 people. Add us to the mix and the total is 15. They are not staying at my house. I located a rental that sleeps 10 or 12 and they rented it. It will be an event.

My family will most likely give me great fodder for descriptive writing. We should avoid politics, but rarely do. It is entirely possible that there will be disputes about professional sports. The vegetarians may clash with the carnivores and there is likely to be some territorial issues involving the hot tub. Here's to family gatherings! Let's hope I find time for some entries next week.

Big Daddy is taping a show for Turner South today. It's called Bushwhacked. Other than the name, I don't know much about it except supposibly they take the worst house on the block and give it curb appeal. Stay tuned for details.

Home Sweet Home

8:10 a.m.

I came home from camp on Sunday night. Yesterday was a flurry of errand running, grocery shopping and catching up on things left unfinished before I left. Today will be more of the same. It's time to balance that checkbook and pay a few bills.

Everything became really green while I was gone. My garden is going wild and so are the weeds. I think I'll procrastinate on the bill paying for an hour or two and work outside. I decided to include the nasty boomerang shaped bed that is in the middle of our front yard in this photo. We've been using it as a fire pit for the last year to burn all the debris and bad trees we've been clearing from the woods. Soon it will be transformed into a stone fire pit lined with flagstone where we can relax and enjoy the evening. One of Big Daddy's crews is supposed to stop by today and move the flagstone from the driveway to the boomerang. All remnants of the boomerang will be removed. I can't wait! I've decided to leave the plot of daisies to the one side and add some other wild flowers to the mix. That's less mowing for me.

We are slowly transforming the edge of the lawn into controlled nature. We are also plotting out trails through the woods and around the edge of the property to accent specific plants. Our last yard and gardens were artfully contrived and controlled. It was beautiful and was and oasis in the middle of an urban setting. This time we're going with organized chaos.

I better get outside and get to work before we get more rain. The garden needs some managing and harvesting. Tonight we will dine on fresh peas. I need to see if there are any new potatoes yet. I love summer.

A Letter From Camp

It is my fourth day at camp. It is raining. It is the fourth day it has rained. It is 60 degrees. This is Georgia. It is not right. I want a care package of chocolate chip cookies to arrive. Please.

Between the rain showers I've been able to ride. The horses are fat and generally happy. Tonight we have a cookout. In the rain. Joy. Luckily the outdoor kitchen is covered. The campfire tonight has been cancelled.

In two days Monkey and Big Daddy are coming to join me for the weekend. Hooray! I hope the rain stops.

Something Before I Go

From my friend, Ken:


Maggie, it is obvious that your chicken is none other than Martin Degville or "Deg" from the momentarily famous SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK (think "Love Missile F-111"). See picture below. Don't be surprised if some dude from VH-1 shows up at your door wanting your chicken for an episode of "Band Reunited"!

Somedays, I really love my friends!

I like Jamie's suggestion of Angela Davis. And I was also reminded of my friend Val's hair for a brief moment during the 80's.

Tomorrow I'm taking off to the wilds of Georgia for a week. It's summer camp time again and I'm going to my old camp to help set up the horseback program. I was horseback director for many years and then assistant director for a few before I finally "grew up". Now that I have moved back to the South I can go help out and visit with old friends. The only problem now is that I have to train 20 year olds and I'm starting to feel my age (oh the horror!!!).

So, I will spend the next week training the new riding staff and riding horses that have been out to pasture since August (can you say rodeo?). Hopefully I can have time to add a few updates between clearing riding trails, cleaning saddles and soaking my tired muscles. I really am getting too old for this, but it is so much fun.

Big Daddy and Monkey get to come join me for the weekend when we have our big camp reunion. It is a highlight of Monkey's year to get to sleep in a tent and shine her flashlight in my eyes all night. I'm glad I can oblige her.

After a brief hiatus...

I spent last weekend in Chicago for my friend, Lorraine's birthday. I ate well, drank well (but not too much) and slept little. I saw lots of old friends. I also walked way too much. I think I undid all the good I had accomplished by resting from running for the last several weeks. It was worth it.

I could rail against a certain airline with "Northwest" in its name, but I'll pass. My trip home was quite longer than the one to Chicago. I ended up on another airline and made it home several hours later than planned. My luggage made it home a couple of days later. If anyone finds my driver's license, please send it to me. I last saw it as I was boarding a plane in Cincinnati. The picture was much better than the new one I had to get today.

I was tagged with a meme by Jamie. I'm a newbie to this. It's short and sweet and about music. I used to be very cool when it came to music. No, really, I was. Now I live on the side of a mountain and have no radio reception. If I go to clubs, the smoke kills me. What music I get to listen to in my car is dictated by a three year old. So my situation is definately coloring my answers. Here I go!

The last CD I bought was: For the Kids, Too!

Song playing right now:
Look What You Have Done, Jet

5 songs that I listen to a lot, or mean a lot to me:
(Basically I'm forced to listen to them a lot!)
Clap Your Hands, They Might Be Giants
Mahna Mahna, Cake
The Hoppity Song, Five for Fighting
Anything on a Kindermusik CD - over and over again
Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie (I don't know why, and I'm not going to ask because of the other things I could be forced to listen too!)

Perhaps my short weekend away wasn't long enough...

Anyway it's good to be home. And it could be worse - I mean, my daughter could like Radio Disney.

Name That Chicken

golden polish

This is one of four Golden Polish chickens that I have. So far I've named a few of the chicks, but can't come up with good names for these funny girls. This one has the best "head of hair" so far. I hope it's not a rooster. I invite you to use your imagination and name that chicken!

Don Juan

My Mother's Day present is blooming.

How To Bake A Cake

by The Monkey

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

1. Wait until Mom goes outside to water plants.

2. Pull chair to kitchen counter and assemble the following ingredients from cupboard into a bowl:

• 1 box cornstarch
• 2 boxes chocolate instant pudding
• 2 packets grape kool-aid
• 2 packets cherry kool-aid
• 3 packets pink lemonade
• 1/2 bottle vanilla extract
• several drops each of blue, yellow and green food coloring
• 1/2 bottle of Thai fish sauce
• 1 bottle of blue sugar sprinkles

3. When mom discovers you in the middle of your baking adventure shout, "Turn on the oven Mommy! I'm baking cake!"

Surely my husband is the devil and I've given birth to his spawn.

The Fruits of My Labor

salad

Candy Land

Monkey had her third birthday on Sunday. We had a small party with her favorite friends - all boys. None of my friends have girls. Monkey is the sole girl and ruler of all. We had devils food cake with bittersweet whipped ganache frosting and homemade strawberry and vanilla ice creams. Monkey ate the last piece of cake for breakfast this morning. After your birthday you can have cake for breakfast every morning until it's gone. That's the rule at our house. Fortunately for her teeth and my waistline, the cake is now gone.

All she wanted for her birthday was Candy Land. Now it says that it is for ages 3-6. Have you ever played a board game with a three year old? First she changes game pieces with every turn - "I'm green... I'm red... I'm blue... I'm green!" Then she starts talking to the board - "Hello Chocolate Monster! Ooh, you're scary!!!" Forward movement on the board is a foreign concept. Board games with three year olds are a scattering of new rules and nonsense. I wish I was three again.

Every Garden Needs One

Monkey and I made a scarecrow today after lunch. We created it power tool free with lots of sawing and hammering completely disregarding the use of safety goggles! I feel the steel wool hair was particularly inspired. Most of the wood is scrap from the chicken house construction. The fingers are last years tomato stakes. The eyes are glass drawer pulls from our old house. I now have one garbage can missing a lid, but the tidiness of our shed can suffer for my art.

I wonder if it will scare any crows?

3:40 p.m.

Here Comes the Rain Again

We've had waves of thunderstorms roll over this afternoon. They've been brief and furious. Our little mountain stream is a rolling little river right now.

I planted my tomatoes before the first storm hit. I managed to mulch one row. It looks very neat and tidy. The second row looks a little mud-splattered. It hailed during the first storm. I kept my fingers crossed that it would not damage my little plants. They are fine.

We are on storm number three now. Mountain storms are funny. You generally hear them before you see or feel them. I heard the thunder about a half an hour before the rain started. I worked faster, hoping to finish. You hear the wind and water hitting the trees, getting progressively louder before the storm arrives. For someone who grew up where you could see a storm coming long before it arrived this can cause a little anxiety. I like to see what's coming my way.

I'm not afraid of storms. Actually I'm one of those people who likes to stand out in the middle of them - to commune with the elements, to feel the wind full force. To get struck by lightning... If I had a video camera, I'd be the fool filming the tornado with the distraught relative in the background yelling, "Honey, come to the basement!" So let's say I kind of like the anxiety - the da-du... da-duh... da-duh... feel of the storm's approach. It gets the blood pumping. The dog is hiding under the bed. I'm going to go stand on the porch for awhile and enjoy the rain.

A Weekend in the Garden

7:22 p.m.

The weather this weekend was sunny and breezy. It was a weekend devoted to being outside. To weeding, tilling, building and spending too much money at the nursery once again. It was a weekend for breakfast out, lunch on the run and late dinners eaten in a quiet state of exhaustion. It was one too many trips to the hardware store. It was a progress measured by a pile of rocks at the end of a garden row. It was a perfect weekend.

I spent the weekend in the garden. The lettuce still needs some serious thinning. I'll get to it tomorrow hopefully. I tilled the future tomato and pepper beds. All the little plants are ready to go into the ground. The rest of the week looks to be warm, so I may just put them in tomorrow. I also got the mounds ready to plant squash and zucchini. This year we are putting down pine straw between the beds. Big Daddy can bring it home from work for free, so we may as well put it to good use. Hopefully, it will help keep things tidier than last year. I've only two more rows left to prep. The asparagus bed is almost filled in. I'm excited to try a little potato farming. The heat of the last couple of days has helped them finally sprout.

Big Daddy spent the weekend working on the chicken coop. It now has a fancy double door and shutters on all the windows. The fence around the run is almost complete. We just need to finish burying the fencing around the bottom and to hang the gate on the run. I think I'll move the chicks in this week. They are already trying to escape their brooder. I found two outside of it this morning. I really didn't expect them to grow so rapidly. They are starting their little pecking order with short scuffles that are all about ruffling up their feathers. They get kind of goofy and flap around the pen - some take flight. One strange noise and it's, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Run around like a chicken with your head cut off! Hurry, cross the road!" Yes, they are one giant list of cliches.

Monkey's third birthday is next Sunday. We are planning a small birthday party. Her little friends are coming for a garden party. Hopefully the weather will be nice and the children can all run around outside. As for a birthday gift, she really hasn't told us what she wants. Forget toys, all she wants is chocolate cake with strawberries. How can I deny her that? Monkey simply wants a chocolate cake with strawberries. Actually, she wants Chef Boots to bake her a chocolate cake with strawberries. Not me. At least she knows who can truly make a cake worthy of her birthday. Boots and his wife, Dr. E, are planning on driving in from Winston. Monkey wants them to come. I'm sure her motives involve chocolate. She's very cunning that way.

12 Days Old

5:20 p.m.

Side bar still at bottom of page. Side bar. At bottom. Fix please!

Open Sesame!

10:40 a.m.

This is how I spent my morning. It was 90 minutes of overwhelming loudness. It was loud to drown out the screaming children. Some were happy. Some were just screaming. Monkey was dancing. She was happy. Some day when she hits puberty and is particularly rotten and blaming me for all the ills that befall her, I will recall this day and say, "I took you to Sesame Street Live. We are even."

I hope the fact that I wouldn't buy her an $8 Elmo balloon hasn't permanently scarred her. I will say that when we went to lunch after the show she was the best behaved of the children at our table. Now if she'd only start using silverware consistently.

My daughter said something to me that nearly broke my heart:

"Momma will you make my hair big and pretty?"

I never thought a child of mine would utter such words.

Tuesday!

Tuesday is Kindermusik Day - at least for one more week. Monkey was in rare form, even for her, this morning. We had "discussions" about what to wear to class. It was in the 50's this morning. I thought jeans, a pink polo shirt and an aqua sweater would be nice. She thought a smock top, pink tutu and white patent leather shoes with pink bows was appropriate attire. She didn't see the need for underpants. While the logic of my choice had little affect, letting her go outside in her outfit for a few minutes convinced her to change. She did manage to change back into her choice for dinner tonight. Dinner was followed by dancing to the digital cable Dance Music channel. The Monkey was ready for clubbing.

The chickens are growing at an alarming rate. I thought I'd have at least a few weeks before they needed to be in the chicken house. Several are already trying out their little wings. One is trying to cluck. I've also figured out which one is my rooster, only there seem to be two of them. Two roosters. If the mystery chicken is a rooster, that will be three roosters. Three roosters. Somebody is going to end up in the pot. Hopefully I can find a home for the extras. I have found homes for several of the hens. There is no way that I want to have 26 chickens.

I weeded the garden while Monkey napped this afternoon. The potatoes are starting to come up. I've never grown potatoes before, so I'm kind of excited. I'll need to thin the lettuce tomorrow. The beets, carrots and peas are coming along nicely. And the radishes are doing well.

Monkey's garden has radishes and carrots coming up. She is growing shallots for my mother. She and the cat were watering them today and having a very important one-sided conversation over her pansies. She has a cabbage. She had two, but the rabbits got one. Is she too young to know the heartache of gardening? I've got a cherry tomato plant for her to plant. We'll plant some sunflowers in the next day or two. I would love to plant a pumpkin or watermelon, but think it would cover her whole garden. Maybe a cucumber on a trellis? Catnip for the cat? I'm trying to think of things that can survive the monkey, grow big and be colorful, flavorful, or smell extra good. She loves berries, but they are planted in other beds around the yard. I like the idea of her being able to pluck something and pop it into her mouth. I think she likes that idea to. Finally something we can agree on.

Why?

Why is my profile at the bottom of the page? Can anyone tell me? It seems to be happening on and off for the last couple of days. Grrr.... not happy with blogger today!